Pregnancy can mean the beginning of a new stage in a woman’s life, with all the changes that new stage can bring. People talk about obvious ones - cravings, fatigue, nausea, body shape - but there are also situations like negotiating new working arrangements and reworking your finances that can make this a difficult time.
As well as physical, financial and social changes, many women experience emotional changes during pregnancy too. Mixed emotions are a normal and necessary part of preparing to become a parent.
It can be helpful for both expectant mums and dads to learn about ways to help themselves and others through this time of change.
Read parenting books, talk to family members and friends about their experiences as new parents and take some time to think about who might be able to provide support if you need it.
While preparation is important, it is also good to remember that you can’t prepare for everything. Like unexpected physical health complications (for example, high blood pressure), mental health problems can affect any woman during pregnancy. Talking about your feelings can be the first step towards feeling better.
It’s very important to look after yourself and recognise if you are finding it difficult to manage from day to day. If you have been feeling sad, down, worried or anxious for a while and this is starting to affect your life, it’s time to seek help.
Relationships
Pregnancy will bring about big changes to your relationship, especially if this is your first baby. Some people cope with these changes easily, while others find it harder. Everybody is different.
It’s quite common for couples to have arguments every now and then during pregnancy, however much they’re looking forward to having the baby. Some of these may be nothing to do with the pregnancy, but others may be caused by one of you feeling worried about the future and how you’re going to cope. It’s important to realise that during pregnancy there are understandable reasons for the odd difficulty between you, and good reasons for feeling closer and more loving.
Support in labour
One practical question you will need to discuss is how you will cope with labour and whether your partner will be there. Many fathers want to be present at their baby’s birth. It can help to find out about your birth options, including where you can give birth.
If your relationship is problematic, abusive or violent, get help. There are organisations that can help, such as 1800 RESPECT (call 1800 737 732) that can provide advice and assistance.
Find out more about getting help for domestic abuse at the Department of Human Services.
It may be that you don’t have a partner during this pregnancy, and you need extra support from family or friends. You may wish to talk to your midwife about some of the services that are available.
Family and friends
Pregnancy is a special time for you and your partner, and there may be a lot of other people around you who are interested in your baby, such as your parents, sisters, brothers and friends.
People can offer a great deal of help in all sorts of ways, and you’ll probably be glad of their interest and support. But sometimes it can feel as if they’re taking over. If this is how you feel, it can help everyone if you explain gently that there are some decisions that only you and your partner can make, and some things that you prefer to do on your own.
You may also find that being pregnant puts you on the receiving end of a lot of advice and perhaps a bit of criticism, too. Sometimes the advice is helpful, sometimes not. Sometimes the criticism can really hurt. The important thing is to decide what is right for you. After all, it is your pregnancy and your baby.
Coping if you’re alone
If you’re pregnant and on your own, it’s important to have people you can share your feelings with who can offer you support. Sorting out problems, whether personal or medical, is often difficult when you’re by yourself. It’s better to find someone to talk to rather than let things get you down.
Ask someone you trust to support you at the birth
Just because you don’t have a partner doesn’t mean you have to go to antenatal visits by yourself and cope with labour on your own. You have the right to take whoever you like: a friend, sister, or perhaps your mum.
Involve your birth partner in antenatal classes if you can, and let him or her know what you want from them. It may help to discuss your birth plan with them so that they understand your wishes for labour.
You can also ask your midwife if there are antenatal classes in your area that are run especially for single women.
Plan ahead
Think about how you’ll manage after the birth. Will there be people around to help and support you? If there’s nobody who can give you support, it might help to discuss your situation with someone.
Related information
- You can call Pregnancy, Birth and Baby on 1800 882 436 if you would like to speak to a maternal child health nurse for advice and emotional support.
- beyondblue have produced a booklet called The beyondblue guide to emotional health during pregnancy and early parenthood that you can download from their website.
Sources: beyondblue (Pregnancy and new parents) , , Department of Health (Tips for parents: babies) Jean Hailes (New Parents)
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